 OK, let’s try this again.
I’ve had a lot of downtime these last five weeks. Plenty to think of where I am in life, the greater scheme of things, and ensuring that grief doesn’t send me spiraling. Which brings me to the blog. Of course, it continues with the weight of Deb’s loss on my heart. But what does it look like?  Here’s a light subject for the day before Thanksgiving:
God. We’ve had some rather blunt conversations these last four weeks. I’ll admit to being angry with God for taking my Deb, leaving me a widower and her two sons with no mom.  Blame Steph the Barber for 20 hours on the road.
See, there’s no way I’d actually come up with the idea on my own of driving straight through from Lake Orion, Michigan, to Inverness without an overnight stop. I mean…I’m not the guy in my 20s and 30s who’d relish the adventure of all day/night driving, tuning in the AM stations at 1 a.m. while woofing down BBQ chips and chain-drinking Cokes.  First up: I made it to my sister Eileen’s house in Michigan safe and sound, surviving a harrowing I-75 drive through Cincinnati and Dayton that had me white-knuckling the wheel for an hour.
Second thing: Deb would NOT have enjoyed this drive. Just being honest. She’d be OK with a little bit of sight-seeing routes, but not to my degree. “You’re taking me for another one of THOSE drives!” I’ve heard her complain time and again.  Time to blow this popsicle stand.
Get out of Dodge. Hit the interstate. Roll on down the highway. Feel the road rushing under my wheels. For a week, anyway.  OK, let’s ease into it.
Tuesday is the Citrus County Commission’s organizational meeting. Barring something odd, Commissioner Diana Finegan will be the new chairman. I never miss the board’s annual meeting. With a new chair usually comes focus on that person’s board priorities and his/her style of leadership.  As if grief needed another downside.
It’s one thing to carry the burden of losing my wife. It’s a whole other thing when I lash out at others because I’m not handling my own issues with dignity. Like I did on Thursday, when I snapped at Nancy Kennedy. Yeah, that Nancy Kennedy. I felt awful about it and apologized, but it stayed with me much of the day. Got me thinking about my Nancy Kennedy story.  My friend Vicki walked up to me Tuesday at the Veterans Parade with a big hug.
She knew I needed it. Vicki lost her husband five years ago. Certain memories, such as the annual Vets Day parade, stir up deep feelings of sadness.  My Deb loved a good parade.
And there is no better parade than the one taking place today. It was the Citrus County Chronicle that started Veterans Appreciation Week over 30 years ago. One day just wasn’t enough.  We’re not there yet.
I had a blog all ready to go in my head. You know, a Just Wright Citrus blog. Politics, that sort of thing. But as Friday fell into Saturday and Saturday morphed into Sunday, I found myself once again unable to handle the simplest of tasks. |
AuthorMike Wright has written about Citrus County government and politics for 37 years. 
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