Christmas tree makes the cut

Hey, it’s Friday! A little bit of this, a little bit of that:

— It shocks absolutely no one at JWC World Headquarters III that the $4 Target Christmas tree hasn’t move.

This exact same thing happened while living in the cabin on the shores of Big Lake Henderson. Went to Lowe’s, bought the last artificial tree on the floor at dirt cheap, brought it home, set it up — and left it there for 15 years.

---

Some people do that, you know. Christmas decorations year-round. I knew a guy who listened to Christmas music in August. Whatever floats your sleigh, right?

It’s not like I’m Mike Kringle. I don’t keep this stuff up because I crave the Christmas spirit throughout the year.

Nah, much simpler. It’s a cool look in this house. Not every house can add a Christmas tree like it's a potted plant. These things tend to draw attention covered with ornaments, lights, and candy canes.

I’ve found it a very cozy addition to the office.

I’ll be better prepared for next Christmas. The tree is already up.

— I encountered a situation a few weeks back that reminds me how much I miss simple things.

Like coin parking meters.

As a somewhat older gent, I resent a system that requires me to download an app to park my car. It wants all sorts of personal information. This “convenience” costs me twice as much as what parking should cost. It’s parking, not homeland security.

I know these things are everywhere. I was in Gainesville a few weeks ago and may or may not have paid for parking in a University of Florida garage. I couldn’t tell you for sure. 

So. I’m visiting John’s Pass in Pinellas County. It’s a chilly, overcast December weekday, with more empty parking spaces than filled ones. I’m squinting at a sign trying to figure out the instructions so I can park my car for an hour.

It basically works this way: I tell the computer how long I'll be staying, give it my credit card, and it spits out a piece of paper. That's all.

Because it registers my license plate, if I leave 10 minutes into a planned two-hour stay, the parking space resets for the next visitor.

This is the parking meter of today. I'm sure the local governments love 'em. Collect more money in an efficient manner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

But it's so, I don't know, unkind to have a parking lot where I can't share leftover time with the next motorist. We all had that friend who carried a roll of dimes in his pocket to feed expired parking meters, right? And, man, the thrill of rolling up to a spot and finding time still on the meter! Free parking time! I save a few pennies, but it might as well be the mortgage.

Well, sorry, but we're now too sophisticated as a society for such simplicity.

It reminded me of attending a Tampa Bay Rays game a few years back and trying to figure out how to get a ticket at the stadium the day of the game. Which I have done for just about every baseball game I’d attended since age 12. 

Walk up to the ticket window and buy one, right? Um, not in our new convenient society. Now it's all apps and downloads. I met some poor fellow from Sarasota who was frustrated to learn he couldn’t buy a ticket at the box office.

"All I want to do is see the game!" he groaned to a 22-year-old stadium employee who clearly had never held a ticket stub in her life.

I'm a simple guy, one who is not easily impressed. This rush to make life easier? I'll take a pass.

— I'm on a three-week fast through church. No soda or Wawa smoothies. Gatorade Zero is handling the thirst, but my taste buds miss chocolate chip smoothies.

Don't tell God, but I found a loophole. I said no WAWA smoothies, so I'm doubling down on the Cattle Dog frozen hot chocolates. I know, I know. Just stamp “heathen” on my forehead.

So, if I'm over eager for Cattle Dog chats this month, you'll know why.

Have a spectacular weekend, friends.

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