Couldn't wait to hurry back home

Blame Steph the Barber for 20 hours on the road.

See, there’s no way I’d actually come up with the idea on my own of driving straight through from Lake Orion, Michigan, to Inverness without an overnight stop.

I mean…I’m not the guy in my 20s and 30s who’d relish the adventure of all day/night driving, tuning in the AM stations at 1 a.m. while woofing down BBQ chips and chain-drinking Cokes.

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Yet, there I was, passing through Chattanooga at 7:30 p.m. Sunday, knowing nephew Billy and his family were ready to warmly invite me in for the night.

What in the world would convince a 67-year-old newbie widower to take that 20-hour drive?

It was something Steph said.

(Let me tell you about friendship. Steph texted me EVERY SINGLE DAY of this Michigan voyage. Always with words of encouragement, prayer, links to Scripture-based podcasts and videos. “You can do this!” she kept saying and urged me to lean on faith during the dark moments.)

Steph suggested I try something that appeals to me but not necessarily Deb. This was an interesting idea, since I’ve been traveling with spiritual Deb in the passenger seat. Doing something I like will help ever slowly to pull myself away from the Deb/Mike grip and into whatever singular role God has for me.

“You’re on this adventure for a reason!” she wrote. “Enjoy it, find a way! Something new, I challenge you!”

She added: “It is not just about Deb anymore. You have to take care of yourself and your mental health and well-being. Bunny is going to need you when you get back. Your leadership and confidence.”

Well, there you go. A Christian friend challenged me to rely on faith and take risks with my emotions.

I started looking at that drive. It’s 17 hours at 65 mph and no stops. So, figure 20 hours in real life. OK. I leave at 7 a.m. Sunday and arrive at 3 a.m. Monday. Doable, right?

As I thought about it more, the idea really fit into Steph’s suggestion perfectly. I can’t imagine something that Deb would detest MORE than driving from Michigan to Florida without a hotel break. All that time in the car, no chance to stretch out on a hotel bed? I shudder to think how that conversation would have gone.

Four main reasons for making this attempt:

— I wanted to see if I could do it. Driving all day and night sounds good on paper, but when midnight rolls around on that dark Georgia interstate, personal challenges go out the window. I had never tried this on my own before. I’d be smart, no slapping my cheeks to stay awake. If it got to where I needed to rest, I’d give up on the challenge. We never really came close to that, though I was getting a little punchy toward the end.

(Our photo is from the Tennessee Welcome Station. That's how little time I spent off the freeway. In fact, I stopped at each state's welcome station except one. You guessed it. Ours. I planned to, but by then it was nearly 1 a.m. and I still had a two-hour ride. Besides, I know what Florida looks like.)

— I missed Bunny. My dog came to me in December, and we’ve been through a lot together already. You know that I’m leaning heavily on her in my grief. We’ve never spent even a night apart before I had her on a trial run at Model Canine.

There’s a reality to my life, and it is this: With Deb gone, I have no one waiting for me back home, so to speak. While Steph and other friends are keeping close watch, that personal touch is missing. Bunny provides it, and I didn’t want to wait another day without my best friend.

— I missed my home. I keep details of the Just Wright Citrus World Headquarters III under wraps because this is a private place and I respect that. But, boy, is it peaceful and quiet. We’ve been here just two months, and already I’m so attached. 

I arrived home Monday just minutes after 3 a.m., and it felt great to be off the road and in a familiar setting. 

— Finally, and I’m not sure I can adequately describe my thoughts; I had a longing to be where Deb lived. Though she was originally from New York, Deb was a Citrus Countian through and through. Each day away from Citrus County felt further away from Deb. I’m not explaining this well, but that magnet kept me on the road headed south.

Monday was one month since Deb's passing. Can’t believe it. I really wanted to be in Citrus County on this sad anniversary and not battling holiday traffic.

It was a rough day. Not gonna lie about that. One month felt like day one all over again. This grief business absolutely sucks. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it, other than not let it defeat me.

Pulling a 20-hour drive from Michigan to Florida put me in the win column at least for one day. 

I’ll take it. Believe me, I’ll gladly take it.

Have an awesome Tuesday, friends.

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