Dec. 18, 2015: greatest day of my life

“Do you believe in something that you’ve never seen before?” — The “Wedding Song.”

I can’t sleep.

It’s either late last night or early this morning. Frankly, I’ve lost my sense of time.

For example, I can’t for the life of me remember a thing about Dec. 17, 2015. Can’t remember what I did that day, or even if I got out of bed. Probably covered a zoning meeting.

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But the next day, now that was a day.

Dec. 18, 2015. The day Deb and I were married. Ten years ago today.

Now you know why I can’t sleep.

Gotta go through this, right? Deb’s loss means milestones that must be passed for the first time all over again, starting with today.

A little backstory.

We were engaged exactly 364 days earlier during the Chronicle Christmas party. Once that euphoria wore off, Deb and I started talking about the wedding. As if we had a plan. Which we did not. At all.

Oh, we came up with all sorts of ideas. Getting married on the dock at Wallace Brooks Park, or in the yard of the original JWC World Headquarters on the shores of Big Lake Henderson.

One day some co-workers suggested to Deb that we have our ceremony in the Chronicle lobby. Everyone laughed. 

Deb told me about it later, and we both tossed it aside. Oh, right! Get married at WORK! That’s exactly every bride’s dream.

Well, time went on and we still have no plan. This work thing started to take shape. We ran the idea by a few people, then took it to Gerry Mulligan, since he’d have to close the lobby and the newspaper could potentially lose money, all in the name of love. Gerry smiled at Deb and growled at me. We had permission.

The big day came. I picked up Deb at her house, and we drove to the office together, stopping at a florist so I could get a boutonniere. 

The rest of the day is a blur, like a slow-moving carousel of laughter and adventure. Gerry did indeed close the lobby. He walked Deb down the stairs, Chad Robison playing the “Wedding Song” in one corner. I stood with Pastor Ray Cortese, surrounded by friends, co-workers, and Deb’s family.

Now. We’re going to stop right here for a minute. You need to know something very, very important.

This woman was way out of my league. I’m talking WAAAY out of my league. Deb in 2015 is smart, funny, attractive, cute, successful, and super responsible. She can hold a conversation with anyone at any time, and make the other person feel special. She has a heart for children and the lonely; she gives generously of her time and money and never tells a soul.

I am none of those things. Got it? I can talk myself into nearly any situation, and that’s what happened here. I hounded Deb until she agreed to date me, then I shocked her into an engagement that she didn’t see coming. Clearly, I was playing with house money.

But saying “I do” is a whole other matter. It wasn’t until I saw Deb descending the stairs with Gerry did I realize that my gosh, she really did love me. It wasn’t an act. She wasn’t trying to get anything from me. She simply loved me. Period.

And that was a first in my life.

The ceremony went flawlessly, rings on the appropriate fingers, and then Chad led us through The Doxology.

I was page-turning our wedding book late last night. We were married in a newspaper office. So, guess where all the cute post-ceremony photos are staged? The pressroom! Plus, a funny photo of us reading that day’s actual newspaper (a front-page headline…no kidding: "Enjoy it while you can”).

What a start. While real life would take our marriage down numerous paths, that day stands alone.

As if death doesn’t have enough downside, the survivors deal with all sorts of details they’d rather not face. The government, for example, wants proof of both Deb’s life and her death.

In a cruel irony, I had to send someone a certified copy of our marriage license Tuesday afternoon. It’s the first time I’d seen it in quite a while. I read it slowly, word by word, savoring every letter. That’s when the memories started rushing in, overwhelming me both with grief and gratitude.

So, no blog Friday. I’m spending today with my wife on our wedding anniversary. It’s been 10 glorious years.

Make your Dec. 18 a special one, friends.

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