Kindness helps carry the load

We end this week with a kind word.

I have been the recipient of much kindness these last two weeks. 
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— A friend wrote a song, set to AI, entitled “He set my feet on a rock” after Psalm 40:2, the Scripture that Deb and I shared most. I cried the first time I listened, and the second time as well. I cried again after listening to it Thursday. This song is our love story, and I cherish it.

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The friend who sent it knows me well. “I promise it’s not about politics,” he wrote.

— A reader sent me a daily grief meditation book along with a comfort blanket, which Bunny commandeered as soon as she had the chance.

— Folks sent food. From one friend, homemade turkey with the fixins. From another, homestyle soup. And Bunny wasn’t shortchanged either; one friend sent a rubber bone.

— Several readers sent cards containing heartfelt messages. One person included a very generous gift. “Use this to honor Deb’s memory,” she wrote.

I am so, so grateful.

It’s been a week where I’ve noticed every detail. We worked our way through Deb’s final wishes and have most of it settled or set up for completion. And, yeah, I felt Deb guiding me through all of it.

It was a week with few distractions. I mentioned kindness…well, not everyone. One wannabe politician, who I blocked from the blog two years ago because of his consistent lying, has been trying to get under my skin with emails in recent months. The clincher was one sent the other night with this subject line:

“Life moves on, get over it.”

What a sweetheart. I blocked his email address. Some people can’t help being ugly when their moment arises.

Then there was this: The guy who called me at 3 in the morning, drunk, because that’s the best time to offer condolences. The fact that I rejected the call four times did not deter him from calling again and again until I finally answered with a less than cordial greeting.

I’m rattled. Really rattled.

I can’t keep a conversation going for more than a few minutes. I have the constant feeling I’m forgetting something. I keep close watch on my wallet and keys.

The fly-off-the-handle potential is very real. A friend who lost his spouse two years ago told me: “You have stuff just below the surface that you’re not even aware of. It’s going to come out.”

That makes me cautious. I spoke Wednesday night at the Citrus County Democratic Executive Committee, and I think I scared those poor people with my rants about this and that. It wasn’t until driving home later that I realized mild mannered Mike didn’t show up.

Friends are patient throughout it all. They encourage me to both take my time and hurry up. Numerous people, more than I can count, tell me I’ll feel much better once the blog returns to its former glory. I’m hoping that starts on Monday.

I so appreciate the kindness shown to me and Deb’s sons these last two weeks. We’re getting by because of it.

Looks like a beautiful weekend before the first winter chill arrives. Enjoy it, friends.

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