There's no Deb-Mike without Nancy

As if grief needed another downside.

It’s one thing to carry the burden of losing my wife. It’s a whole other thing when I lash out at others because I’m not handling my own issues with dignity.

Like I did on Thursday, when I snapped at Nancy Kennedy. Yeah, that Nancy Kennedy.

I felt awful about it and apologized, but it stayed with me much of the day. Got me thinking about my Nancy Kennedy story.

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You see, I’m fairly certain I would be neither sober nor alive if not for Nancy. And I definitely wouldn’t have my faith. No sobriety, no faith…no Deb, which means we wouldn’t have attended a Chris Tomlin concert together, where today’s photo was taken.

So, yeah, it’s safe to say Nancy played a pretty significant role in my life.

We’ve known one another and been newspaper pals for many years. Nancy and I were the Yin and Yang of the Chronicle newsroom. Everyone loved seeing Nancy show up to their events; me, not so much. Combined, we helped to create a balance that benefited the Chronicle and community for three decades.

Nancy also writes the Grace Notes column every week, and she doesn’t shy from her faith. Psalm 40:10 reads, “I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and truth from the great assembly.” That’s Nancy.

She led me slowly along, even as my drinking got out of hand. Nancy prayed with me and encouraged me. I started attending Seven Rivers Church, her church, eager to learn more.

We had faith discussions. She wrote columns based on some of them, including one where I prayed for God to fix my toilet, and he did!

Nancy is an accomplished Christian author. She penned a book in 2006, “Girl on a Swing,” and included me in the dedications: “Mike Wright, a fellow writer, my first reader, best critic, and, most importantly, a brother in Christ.”

But her best work was yet to come.

That would occur on July 5, 2006. I struggled to the office that day, having passed out the night before. As sure as I’m writing this, I was convinced that would be my last day on Earth. There simply was nothing left. Whiskey won.

I sat beaten and broken, shaking from alcohol poisoning, and told her: “Nancy, I feel God and the Devil are battling to the death for my soul.”

She replied with six words that changed my life: “That’s a battle God always wins.”

I went home that day, thinking about what she said. I had no evidence of God winning anything in my life. It never dawned on me to ask for help.

See, my prayer life was somewhat iffy then. Because I couldn’t figure out how I was to live without drinking, even as if it was killing me, I couldn’t live without drinking. 

But that day, after hearing Nancy’s assurances, I dropped to my knees and asked God to fix me, even if I didn’t see how he could. I called a friend that night and he took me to a 12-step meeting the next day, July 6, 2006. Haven’t touched a drop since then.

Nancy is an enthusiastic supporter of the alcoholic and addict in recovery. I have little doubt there are Citrus Countians who are free from the chain of addiction in part because of something they read in a Nancy Kennedy story.

So, Nancy, I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’m under a lot of pressure right now, but that doesn’t excuse poor behavior directed at a dear friend.

— Good news! Found Deb’s engagement ring. Still no go on the wedding ring, but it’s the engagement ring that has sentimental value.

Of course, EVERYTHING does. No kidding…I’ve kept an Amazon box that contained protein shakes Deb sent me. I can’t throw it out. It’s just a dang box. Feels like if I pitch it, I’m somehow discarding a piece of Deb's memory.

So, yeah, I’m a little not right in the head at the moment. I truly apologize if I say or do something inappropriate. Just know I’m a work in progress.

That’s it from World Headquarters III. Have a great weekend, friends.
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