It's not what Ma Bell had in mind

So, how was your Tuesday?

This was how mine went: Phone died.

Election Day is the biggest day of the year, so forgive me if you were near Big Lake Henderson on Tuesday morning and heard cries of panic coming from Just Wright Citrus World Headquarters.​

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I spoke on the phone at 7:30 a.m. and all was good. When I checked it again around 10, it was stuck at 8:03 a.m. and that’s the time of death, apparently.

Unlike most people of this century, I do not live for the next super phone. I pay little attention (re: none) to the latest phone craze. The i-phone 9000 could set the world on fire and I’ll be happy playing euchre on my little LG, Fred Flintstone edition.

You may be wondering how someone whose sole business is online would be so ignorant about technology. It’s easy. I’m not that smart.

Recall that I’m a newspaper person at heart. Grew up with newsprint. Technology was a pen (or pencil in winter) and reporter notepad. My last resume was created on an actual typewriter. 

But I got the whole computer idea. Even the laptop I use is basically a typewriter with a lot of innards I’ll never understand.

Phones, though, that’s a whole other deal.

They started off as portables. I remember my dad having one of those big Maxwell Smart gizmos shoved under the front seat and gave us a jump if it rang. Who the heck would be calling Dad while he’s driving? What combination of dumb came up with that idea?

Eventually, though, they became these little pocket flip phones. To me, that was the golden age of the personal phone. They were fun, goofy. Texting was new and it took effort because we didn’t have a typewriter keypad, only the telephone numbers that assigned three letters to each. 

Then they started taking pictures. Never forget the first time I saw someone using a flip phone to take a photo of his car after a crash. He was holding the phone out and pointing it at the car. I wanted to ask him, “Hey, can I see that?” but thought, probably bad timing.

Far as I’m concerned, we could have stopped the phone technology right then and there. I have a small device, which fits in my pocket, that allows me instant communication by voice or written word to anyone anywhere in the world, which is pretty cool. And we can take adorable pictures of our cats.

I’m still not caught up in the latest thing and I’m a real simpleton when it comes to my phone. I need it to do only a few simple things: phone calls, take photos, JWC Facebook posting, email.

None of which were available Tuesday morning, Election Day, as I frantically grabbed the phone stuck at 8:03 a.m. and rushed into the Verizon store across from Cooter Pond.

That’s where I ran into my new best Verizon friend, Mitch Raynes.

“Help!” I said, or something like that. He took the phone, shook his head and gave me the bad news.

OK. Few things I dislike more than buying a new phone and to do it in such a circumstance spelled trouble because, truthfully, at that moment on that particular day, I woulda bought the Z-9900 that required my car keys as a down payment. I needed a phone.

But boy did I luck out. Turns out, Mitch is a loyal Just Wright Citrus reader so he knew exactly what kind of phone I needed.

For example, Mitch knows my target photo is of a building, parking lot, sign or side view of the county commission. Basically, anything that doesn’t move much.
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He offered me a phone at a reasonable price. Made by a company I recognized from my youth. (Not Westingthouse, but close.) And he said I didn’t need the more expensive model because, frankly, this photo capability was about all I could handle.

So my first photo is a selfie with Mitch.

I’m still trying to figure the new phone out. Logging into Facebook was a pain. For a company that sends ads based on what’s in my head, it sure made me jump through a lot of hoops.

But it’s a phone. And so much more. Don’t like being tethered to it, but I certainly see its value. 

My new phone has a card game that I’m suddenly hooked to. You may have heard of it: Solitaire.

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